Dec 30, 2014

2014: Everybody's Free (to ask questions)

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, asking questions would be it. That saying was right, "he who asks a question is a fool for five minutes, yet he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever." Never choose to remain fool forever.

Ask questions. Ask many of them. But please, do your homework also. At the very least, Google first. Just so you know, more often than not, your answer doesn't define you. Your question does.

Judge yourself. But don't judge others. Even if he's your siamese twin with whom you go together 24/7. Just because you see what's on the surface, that doesn't necessarily mean you understand what's beneath.

Be loving. 

Keep those who truly love you. Those who have been there with you since the time before all the status. And those who love you for all of you, not just because of the awards and the titles. Those who bring you joy. And those who support you. Also those who are always being honest with you. Don't forget those who know how weird you can really be, and those who don't get disgusted with your huge appetite (yes, they tease you every now and then, but they will always say yes for another cake time). Because they know, it's your heart that matters most. And here's how to keep them with you. Show them, and let them know, that to you, they matter too.

October 2014.
Amirah and I were having our second late afternoon tea time.
Well, maybe third.
September 2014.
(left-right) Yasmin, (curious) Mika, Andra.
August 2014.
My one and only BGK.
And "the Ring."

Give Gifts.

It's true that the best gift one can give is time, but when it comes to your beloved ones don't be so cheap and just give your presence. Give real presents. Even if it's not their birthday. Even if it's a small token that shows how you keep them on your mind. Even if it's something you make yourself which you recently learn, or some books you randomly see when you go to the bookstore, or something you find when you travel somewhere. A gift is an expression of love, which your loved ones so much deserve.

January 2014.
I'm the luckiest aunt (onti).
And my little nephew Rayyan (ade) is the cutest.

August 2014.
LOL :)) Because Yasmin knows me too well. :')

October 2014.
The most beautiful bookmark I've ever seen. From Amirceu! xx

And remember that when you receive some gifts, be very thankful. Because that's the sign that you are loved too.

Pray.

There will be times when things are rough. Times when you feel like you're alone, and nobody seems to understand your ultimate fear and sorrow. Just remember that "you never, are alone!" Eventually, you will find people who can help you to go through it. You will meet people who are brave enough to share their stories. And you will be shown that someone has had it rougher, and actually live to tell the tale. Even if that means you have to go all the way to Seattle.

June 2014.
Thank you, Heide! :)

Live in Bandung once, but leave when it's the time to leave. And don't forget to pay a visit every once in while. Because it is always good to reminisce.

October 2014.
Bandung. 7 months after moving to Jakarta.

Travel. 

Talk to people who appreciate something you may have taken for granted. Listen to those who are grateful every time the sun shines brightly, as if they see it for the first time. Just so that you'll understand, how gifted your homeland really is.

June 2014.
Seattle.

June 2014.
San Francisco.

October 2014.
London.
Read.

Set your priorities straight. Family should be on the top.

July 2014.
The day when my sister and her family moved to Pau.

Never listen to the advice that tells you how entrepreneurs should always put their work above all else. And never trust those who say that nothing other than work really matters. There will be a lot of people that tell you that, and you will see how their convincing words perpetuate. That is the time when you have to remind yourself of your own value. Entrepreneurs are blessed because they aim to find the balance between the thing they love doing and all the other things that are important in life. Don't give entrepreneur a bad name by acting like those heartless machines.

Spend time with your parents. Listen to their stories. Thank them for all the decisions they made in the past. Be mindful, that those are also the decisions that have made you who you are today.

Spend time with kids. Play with them. From them, you will understand about mercy. From them, you will learn about patience. And from them, you will realize that nothing supersedes intelligence. Except excellent character.

November 2014.
Fathimah, my first and only niece.

Learn from those who know how to cherish their parents and families. Surround yourself with such people.

Pay attention.

You will find how messy and imperfect this world is. You will meet people who are disrespectful even to their own mothers or their families, let alone other human beings. You will meet others, who draw your energy with their negative words, and share nothing but hatreds. You will read the news that reveals all the violence and the worst kind of nonsense stuff, so terribly awful you want to throw up. Don't be depressed. Because you will also get the chance to meet others who want to share nothing but kindness. Those whose face full of smile and hearts full of love. Those who are constantly grateful. Those who treat their guest like their own kin. Those who connect people. Those who want to help others to their best of capacities. Those who--despite all the bad things that have been going on--take time to contemplate and literally ask others and themselves, "how can I be more of service?"

June 2014.
Jolkona, the Project Catalyst group.

August 2014.
#socent enthusiasts.

October 2014.
Makers of More Summit group.

October 2014.
Eric and his lovely granma Lynne. 

Be thankful. 

Forgive those who hurt you, even when they hurt you for the reason you can never understand. Because at least they have taught you that not everyone deserves your heart and mind.

Just because something isn't happening for you right now doesn't mean it will never happen. All great things take time and effort. So when it finally comes, you will appreciate the greatness even more. You will understand that it is worth all the wait, even the pain. 

December 2014.
After 6 years. Those who know Wangsa Jelita from the very beginning
will understand why I love this too much.


Maintain communications with your loved ones. Text them when they are miles away. Even if it's just to share the link you recently read. Or the quote that you think they will like. Or the crazy images that you know will crack them up. But remember to put all your gadgets aside when they are in front of you. Because you will never be fully conscious that, when the time to say goodbye comes, you actually never know when the last goodbye is.

Keep your cool. Control your anger. Sit down if you need to. Lie down and take a deep breath if you really have to. That guy Ambrose Bierce was right. To speak when you are angry will only lead you to make the best speech, you will ever regret.

Exercise.

Eat healthy food. Even if they taste like grass. It is okay to cheat every once in a while, but remember to give the rights which your body has too.

September 2014.
My mom made me drink this carrot juice.
It tasted like grass love.

It is good to keep yourself busy. 
Just remember that, above anything, it is best to be conscious on what you are busy about.

But trust me on the question.

..

Adapted from: "Everybody's Free (to wear sunscreen)"
Inspired by: Anna Oposa and her annual year-end entry

Read also my previous posts: 
2013: Finishing the Unfinished Business
2012: In Review