#notinmyname

From what I observe, the incident of Charlie Hebdo has resulted in three major reactions by three different groups of people.

The first is of the ignorants who now come up with a hashtag (which is full of hatred I don't want to write it), who simply conclude that this terrible incident is because of the teaching of Islam, and each and everyone who has something to do with the religion should pay the price. Among this group are those who bombed the mosque in Paris recently, and somehow think that that is the kind of solution which will make the world a better place. I feel sorry for this first group, I really do. But they're not my main focus. Not today.

And then there's a second group, which actually is the reason why I write this. The "JesuisCharlie" group, I call them.

In order to get my point across, firstly, I need you to do something. I need you to imagine someone whom you love most. Someone from whom you have learned so much. Someone who endures every kind of pain you can ever imagine, just to teach and benefit you. Someone who is willing to sacrifice his/her life, for yours. 

Obviously there are many other reasons why we love a person, now I need you to just take time to think of one individual who deserves many (if not all) of those reasons to be loved. Probably it's your mother, your father, your spouse. Perhaps it's your teacher, your professor, your mentor.

Now once you have figured out who that person is, imagine that particular someone is being mocked. Imagine your own mother is being made fun of. Imagine there's a group of people who speak ill of someone whom you take as your role model. It hurts you, doesn't it? 

When you really love a person, even a single false judgement about him/her may bring tears to your eyes. Even when you know that it's incorrect. Of course, you feel sorry for the people who can't see the beauty in the person you love the way you do, but it saddens you, because you understand that that very person doesn't deserve to be treated that way.

And this is where I want to highlight one important thing that, unfortunately, has been missed out among the people in this second group. 

The love of muslims for the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) goes beyond their love of everything else. Muslims love the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) more than they love their own mothers. I know it's not something which everyone can take lightly. And it is not my main intention to make everyone who reads this to accept that belief. But how I wish them to understand how painful for us to see those false judgements given to our beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). 

I'm not going to beat around the bush, so I'll just leave those who support "JesuisCharlie" with something to ponder over.

If the so-called freedom of speech allows others to mock your loved one in the most horrible way, would you support such thing? Would you be just fine when others are disrespectful to your beloved one, and would you just say 'it's the freedom of speech, they have their own right!' Really? Will you come up with that argument?

#JeNeSuisPasCharlie.

But don't get me wrong. By all means, I never and will never ever justify the incident of Charlie Hebdo. Everyone who loves the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) understand that that horrible incident has nothing to do with the teaching of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), because part of loving him is by doing what he has taught us, his followers, to do. And there simply is no room in Islam for responding to mockery or blasphemy with violence.

As I said, I feel sorry for those who don't get to know the beauty of character of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and end up making such hateful speech towards him, but my anger goes to those who don't understand the teaching of Islam properly, yet act arrogantly, ignorantly, even worse, violently as if they do and have the right to.

I remember an advice of a good friend which goes, "in the era of Islamophobia, take every opportunity to clarify what Islam is not." To some level I agree, but it's the other part of the equation that interests me more. And it is actually the last reaction I've observed.

More often than not, we are too busy to explain what Islam is not, while what has been lost in many eyes of the people nowadays is the beauty of what Islam really is. No doubt, it is our responsibility as muslims to act according to the policy of the Quran.

"And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel (evil) by that (deed) which is better; and thereupon the one whom between you and him is hostile (will become) as though he was a devoted friend." - Fussilat (explained in detail) :34.

We should try utmost to be one of the last group. And I pray that we'll all be able to do the teaching of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) properly.

Stay-at-home Moms vs. Working Moms

You know what, that never-ending war which happens between stay-at-home moms and working moms is just unnecessary and stupid. I'll tell you my personal reason in a second.

..

I figured out that there was a (bloody) discharge from my left breast few months ago. After speaking to some doctor friends, I knew that I need to see an oncologist. Immediately. So I looked for a female oncologist who practices in Jakarta, and managed to get two recommended names, one of which has a super long queue that I have to wait for three months just for one quick appointment. Three freaking months, I kid you not.

To get to my point, you have to understand how unpleasant all the screening and the tests which a suspected (just suspected, btw) breast tumor/cancer patient has to go through, let alone the notorious and rigorous treatments after. And for me, personally, I just wanted to go to a female doctor, for reasons many women--especially who suffer from breast tumor/cancer--can tell. Right then and there I told myself, "gosh, I truly am thankful for these two women's decisions back in the day, that they decided to pursue their career, despite all other roles and responsibilities they may already have, and especially, despite all those terribly hateful comments the working-mom haters throw at them."

Just to be clear, I'm not saying that e-v-e-r-y woman should pursue their career, I even have my own thought (read: somewhat disagree) on that getting to 50/50 idea.

But let me get things straight.

If I have to wait for three months (I ended up meeting her after four months actually, and I had to wait for hours and hours on the appointment day) just to see this doctor due to the queue, it's crystal that my story is not an isolated story. So for you working mom haters, you need to know that we really need more women to take certain roles in this society. No doubt about it, we really do. It's already a tough decision they--those working moms--made, and because of that, they have served many people through their commitments. So don't you (and I) dare to make it even tougher.

And by the way, I'm not going against stay-at-home moms. I have so much respect for those who decide to give their whole life to their family. No doubt it's another tough decision to make. Those who pursue their career (including myself) know it too well that to maintain the focus is one of the most difficult things to do nowadays. That being said, I cherish those who are able to focus on their family. And I cherish them with all my heart.

Needless to say,
enough with that holier/better than thou attitude, women.
It's the time to respect each other.