Feb 13, 2011

Being (not) in control

"Some things are just completely out of your control. Lots of things. Your surroundings, your closest friend, even the person you trust the most, they are there for you not because you control them. It is simply because they want to"

I sipped my tea and continued to listen.

"If people want to be with you, it is not because you force them. If they want to work for you, it is not because of your order. If someone wants to be your man, it is not because you ask him.

"If there are thousands of girls chasing after your man, that is also out of your control. And the fact that he is still your man, even if you act in a way where you think you are in control, like you told him this and you told him that, and he did exactly the way you told him, believe me, you are still not."

I put down my tea cup, leaned back in my chair, and took a deep breath.

She asked me,
"Do you realize that people always have choices?"
I nodded.

"When people are nice to you, you might think it is because you are nice to them. Actually that is not how it works.

"Sometimes you may find someone who is nice to you even if you did not do anything nice to him, or in the worse case you may find someone who is mean to you even if you were not. You are not in control.

"To understand that, I know, is one of the hardest things to learn in this life. I, like you, want to control what is going on. It can be really frustrating sometimes, but we have to learn to accept it."

I nodded telling her I have understood.
She smiled and looked deeply into my eyes.

"Some things you cannot control, some things you can. Accept the first one, have courage to do the second, and then learn to understand the difference."